My heart lies somewhere between so much contentment and chaos. What exactly does my heart deprive of? I ask myself that everyday. I want contentment. Sure. How do I get there?
I could safely say that during the whole of last semester, I never felt happy. I was just drenched in so much sadness, and sometimes without even knowing why exactly. Maybe I just needed more drive to go to class. Maybe I just needed more from myself. I wouldn't say this wave of depression is the worst one I've endured, but this one is pretty tough.
I miss times when things were much less complicated. When everything made much more sense, and when it didn't, I could just dispose it and move on, turn it into nothing.
Instead, right now, I feel nothing. In fact, I am deep into nothingness. If I don't do anything about this soon, I will become it. Become nothing.